I Feel Like An Old Metallica Fan.

Why is that? Lots of reasons. Right now, as we (and popular culture) approach the summer month of July for 2008, I feel like my old German teacher Herr Anderson; a guy who absolutely loved Kill ‘Em All, went and saw the band at the tiny-TINY venues, supported them (bought their tapes), tried to spread the word, etc. And what happened to this man as an ORIGINAL Metallica fan? Popular culture, and those idiots who subscribe to every single one of it’s latest “big thing”s ruined the band for him. Not only that, but the band started changing on him as a result of this new pressure. It isn’t like Herr Anderson hates Metallica now, he just feels like industry pressures, certain “fans”, etc, ruined what once was his favorite band. And this was, along with the dudes around him wearing jean jackets with Motorhead patches at the Kill ‘Em All Tour shows, very much so HIS band. And he told us, his students, this over and over again. It still bothers him to this day.

That’s the way I once felt about Christopher Nolan and his re-imagining of the Batman film universe. This was MY movie. The movie I’d been waiting for my entire life. As a kid, I grew up with Batman: The Animated Series. But I knew deep down that it wasn’t the very best depiction of the Batman universe I’d ever see in my lifetime. It captured certain Bat-themes as perfectly as M captures wide stream urban paranoia; but with all home runs, it had it’s huge fucking flaws. And clearly, CLEARLY (and this is what really burns me up about everyone and their brother clamoring over The Dark Knight) nothing will ever compare to reading the comic books. NOTHING. And I like a lot of the Batman comics over the years (I hate a whole lot of them too). Denny O’Neil is the Batman mastermind. He’s the one who brought the character back to center after the outlandish goofiness of the 60’s. And although I think Frank Miller’s an overrated blob of pudding, some of his GN’s on Batman have been nothing short of, at the very least, IMPORTANT to the Batman universe. I like what Grant Morrison’s doing right now. I like both The Long Halloween and Dark Victory (Jeph Loeb). I LOVE the late 40’s/early 50’s stuff, when murder was the Joker’s joke; anything short of completely ruthless, pointless, conscience-free murder made him MORE angry (not smiling fish). And who could forget Alan Moore’s little piece to the puzzle in The Killing Joke, where The Joker decides to fire a bullet through the lower part of Barbra Gordon’s spine, which paralyzed her from the waist down.

It’s true: I love Batman comics. Lots of these people salivating over Chapter 2 in Christopher Nolan’s Bat-story flat out say “I don’t read Batman comics”. Which is totally fine. People who don’t read comics can go watch comic book movies all they want. Doesn’t bother me. But to act as if somehow you’re entitled to anything because you’ve been bitten with the “comic-book-movie-blockbuster” bug is outrageous. Go read Transmetropolitan, The Watchmen, 70’s Spiderman/Batman, Maus, then we’ll talk. And again, go to the movies, like them, buy them on DVD, etc (even if they are complete shit), but don’t think that all of a sudden because you’ve seen Iron Man 4 times in the theater that you somehow know what should and should not be included in July’s The Dark Knight, or The Watchmen.

When Batman Begins came out I absolutely LOVED it. Again, it felt like the movie I’d been waiting for my whole life. Christopher Nolan has been a favorite director of mine since The Following and Memento. When I saw Memento for the first time in the theaters I thought this guy knows how to capture moving images. Not only Nolan, but his DP Wally Pfister possesses a truly gifted eye when it comes to film from a visual standpoint. Not only that, but this team knows how to tell a story, and play with information. A lot like early Hitchcock pictures, but not as good. I saw all of his movies since then. And when I got word he was directing the rough translation of Miller’s “Batman: Year One” to the big screen, I probably shit my pants. Damn! This was my DREAM project. The gritty, adult origin story of my favorite mainstream comic character, being adapted into a major motion picture by one of my favorite new directors? Holy shit. I went to the theater and the thing blew me away. I saw it four times. Every time I saw it I brought somebody new to see it; like Herr Anderson spreading the word of this little San Fran metal band called Metallica. He convinced people to buy their tapes and eight tracks, I convinced people to spend 7 or 8 bucks on a Batman Begins ticket. I even brought my Dad to one showing.

Truth be told, for a major summer blockbuster, Batman Begins DIDN’T do all that well. In it’s first weekend, it made just short of $50 million. Just to throw some numbers out there: Iron Man did a little more than $100 million, SpiderMan 2 did about $150 million, and Revenge Of The Sith did about $110 million. So Batman Begins did good, but not spectacularly at the box office. Funny story: I was just over at the Batman Begins IMDB site to check these numbers, and what do I fucking see as the top thread on the message board??? And I quote: “who saw this in the theater?”… no lie. So what does this all mean? Well in the end, if numbers are any indication, The Dark Knight will most likely more than double Batman Begin’s total box office gross. MORE THAN DOUBLE. This means that over half the people who will go see the sequal in about a month DID NOT see the first movie in the theater. Wow. And this “who saw it in the theater?” topic only supports my analysis. For people who don’t care about the whole thing that much: again, not a big deal. Especially with the death of Ledger, I can see why a lot of people are curious about the movie. But for the hardcore guys: those who didn’t see the first one right away in the theater (and the numbers support that there are a significant number of them), FUCK YA’LL. If they were alive throughout the 80’s they’d be the ones getting all excited over Ride The Lightning when they don’t even own Kill ‘Em All.

When the first trailer for the Dark Knight hit the Internet, I (like a complete doofus) strolled on over to the ImDb board to discuss it with what I thought at the time were people just like me. I was wrong. I mentioned something about how it’s great to see the Joker and all but, as a longtime Batman fan, I would’ve loved to have seen more Harvey Dent in the first full trailer, as I feel him to be the most tragic of Batman’s foes. A million fucking cronies jumped all over my nuts screaming: “YOU don’t know what it’s like maaaannn. We’ve been waiting to see this movie for SOOOO long. We don’t care about this ‘Dent’ guy, we just want to see Ledger’s Joker. Since we first heard about The Dark Knight we’ve been wanting to see The Joker. You just don’t get it”. I was utterly fucking appalled and OFFENDED by these assholes. I don’t know what it’s like?? Who are you? Fuck you. I saw the first one 4 times in the theater! I’ve loved Christopher Nolan since his first film! I’ve read every important Batman comic/graphic novel in the character’s 60 year history! Half of these assholes didn’t even know who Harvey Dent was before they consulted their Wikipedia for a quick reference (this, only AFTER they heard he’d be the “bad guy” in the third movie). Is the Metallica reference making sense yet? It should be hitting pretty hard.

Like my old German teacher, Herr Anderson, I’ve been there from the beginning. And, just like he’s always LOVED metal (since the Motorhead glory days), I’ve always loved both Chris Nolan AND Batman. I’ve been tripping over myself over this franchise re-boot since I heard about it circa 2003. This was very much so MY film. Shit- my DREAM film trilogy. And just like how Herr Anderson had to go to late-80’s Metallica shows and deal with Poison, Crue, and Warrant fans; I have to go see The Dark Knight in July of 2008 and deal with Transformers, Indiana Jones and The Skulls (whatever the fuck it’s called), and Iron Man/Incredible Hulk fans.

Don’t believe me. Check out this post: “The most anticipated summer blockbuster film for the year should be this film. I’ve seen Iron Man, The Hulk, Indiana Jones, Prince Caspian.” IMDB Board Post. Rest my case.

And did any of you bastards see Bale and Ledger’s I’m Not There, the Todd Hayne’s Bob Dylan flick (and enjoy it)? I did not fucking think so.

-Sonny

~ by sonnywilkins on June 27, 2008.